In the continued series of Maneater films, I picked up The Hive while at Texas Frightmare Weekend. This is usually my quest at TFW to find some gold in the glory hole. The Hive is not pure gold but a rare metal with lots of value.
The film start in some third world country which leads me to belive this was really a documentary that much have gone wrong at some point and turned into this comedy of errors. Ants are destroying a small village and the world’s experts in ants come to take care of the situation. They are Thorax and much like Bruce Willis in Armageddon….they are the only hope.
As far as wanting to riff on this movie it should be fairly easy to do with your friends. From the visual effects to the dialog (but mostly the visual effects) it is very entertaining watching ants as an unstoppable force.
I could go into some depth about the story and plot but why would I do that? Pretty much what you need to know is that aliends have somehow cross bred with ants and made super ants. As I watched this a second time it’s a little like if A Bug’s Life crossed DNA with The Abyss. This is due to an ant moment much like water moment in The Abyss and ants like…well like ants in Bug’s Life.
The Maneater movies like these were pretty fun to watch before SyFy really went overboard and kinda made it a bit dull over the last 3 years. This was fun and easy to riff with friends and with that said I give The Hive 4 out of 5 tuxedo footballs.
When Josh found out I was bringing over Grizzly Rage he was very upset to find out it was a shitty movie and not a gift for him to add to his personal collection.
No Grizzly Rage is not a film about a gay man rising up against the system so he can fight his oppression in the form of dance…..no this is a film about what happens when you fuck with mother nature and her soldiers of evil.
This flick seemed to be in the early years of what Sci-Fi and before they started making bad movies on purpose. This is real gold because they were really trying to do something here.
Our story starts when some high school students decide to take a weekend trip for some camping to get away from the harsh rat race of Canada. A few things they should have made note of that was going to cause problems. For starters they are Canadian and everyone knows that….well they are Canadian. Second, the guys on the trip are mostly douche bags and there is only one girl on the trip so the amount of douche to girl ratio is out of control and thus trouble can only come from it. Third, well you should never hit the children of animals especially bears and bears that are exposed to toxic waste, Canadian toxic waste. So when I bought this on Amazon it claims that the reason for the bear being crazy bitch was because it was exposed to toxic waste and thus Grizzly Rage but turns out that no, if you fuck with bears then you fucked up. For me this was just fine because any chance to see a douche bag go up against bears will always be a win!!
So once they hit the road it doesn’t take long for the douche bag guy to make one huge mistake, hitting a baby bear and killing it. This causes them to cause major damage to the truck and they are dead in the water. With a radiator and holding on to dear life the gang seems to be pretty much screwed as now have a bear, toxic danger around them, the issues with being a young person growing up in Canada but most of all their hopes and dreams of winning a Stanley Cup possibly taken from them.
So this is the part where the movie just goes on with montages and various points that have you asking “why don’t they just sit in the truck with the windows closed and wait it out”. They actually got good distance as the vehicle was still working but who’s looking at the fine details. At this point much like Remo Williams…our adventure begins.
What makes Grizzly Rage is how easy it is to riff on this movie. As I’ve said many times I watch these flicks to find those that work well for having your b-movie night hangouts. With a series of “we are gonna make it” montages, a bear that apparently has the speed of Jason Voorhees with the strength of Brock Lesnar this makes our movie a real winner in my books.
The end is pretty awesome when it comes to “what the bullshit just happened” so enjoy as I give it 4 out of 5 tuxedo footballs
Spirit Camp is the attempt to cross breed Friday the 13th and Bring it On according to the cover. It was an attempt for sure but sadly falls a little short but still a fun flick for those who enjoy campy movies that you would see at Texas Frightmare Weekend then you’ll enjoy it. If you order from the main site you can get a free pair of autographed panties which I got with my copy.
This is a classic camp horror movie of girls at a cheerleader camp and there is a killer. That about sums it up if you are a fan of those movies. So it will have girls in small outfits, boobies and blood. Spirit Camp was made by Kerry Beyer from Houston and I support local film makers of the area since I’d love to be an extra in a b-movie some day
Spirit Camp starts with some boobs and blood right from the start and the babes make their appearance in the first 10 minutes. From there it is the hardcore instructor who makes life hell for the girls. The goth girl shows up because I think that she is forced there by the man? She has a hard time getting along with the popular cheerleader but together with their power of cheer and boobs they are able to escape the killer of the camp.
I’m sure there is a drinking game in this but I was hoping for some more gore and a little more campy dialog that I think would have pushed it over the top. Spirit Camp stars Roxy Vandiver and Julin. I got to meet some of the cast at Frightmare Weekend this past year and they were nice folks so I support those who allow me to have something to write about.
Pick up Spirit Camp as I give it 3 out of 5 tuxedo footballs but if you come up with a drinking game for this one let me know!!
It’s dark, deep and men look to conquer it…..The Cave….but seriously.
The Cave is much like all the movies of this style (The Descent) in which people go down a hole and turns out there is bad shit down there. I’m still waiting for the feel good movie of the year about people go into a cave and find good things. Last time we had that was Goonies.
I wish I could say that this movie falls into the normal b-horror flicks but honestly it doesn’t as this does have a fair amount of production value to it and has a fair amount of mid-level star power. The Cave could be considered the Ocean’s Eleven of b-level actors with names like: Cole Hauser from 2 Fast 2 Furious, Morris Chestnut from V (the television series), Lena Headey from Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles, Piper Perabo from Coyote Ugly and Daniel Dae Kim from LOST…..wow the pure firepower………….alright
So yeah the movie is about a secret in the cave that everyone wants. The best crack team of cave hunters (not sure what you’d call them) is called to do the work that no one wants to attempt to do….except for the people who put the secret there to begin with. So yeah I wish I could riff on this more but really the one thing that saved this for the gang that was watching it was the reference of “The Cave” to “Lady Parts”. Yeah it’s immature but seriously folks if you are still following this blog…..come on.
If you want to play the game then go to about the 17:00 mark and make references to “The Cave” = “Mommy Hole”…..so give it a try remember your score cards:
Head Cave Hunter: Now we will be under for 12 days…
Head Cave Hunter:(with beer in hand) …We are going to go deep on this one
Second in command Cave Hunter: Now remember folks this Cave is a serious piece of work, it’s already taken one life. Respect it
I think you guys get the idea of what kind of drinking game you can have here. As for the movie it goes on and it is what it is. The get trapped and it’s hard to get out and then some kind of creature is down there and if you get bit or infected by it you start to turn into one thus The Cave whips you into something that can never leave because once in the cave you are not the same. But seriously the movie has a guy turn into a cave thing and that helps them win the boss fight at the end.
So again make this a fun drinking game but not sure if you’d want this in the line up for a movie night unless your group is a tight gang that can riff really well with each other or you will just be watching one of those Saturday afternoon movies on the local WB network. The Cave gets a 2 out of 5 tuxedo footballs but can get an extra football if you can riff with the best
So posts have been so far in between as I feared they would be at we are reaching close to a year of YATMA. I knew that work would get in the way of doing this but since this is really a hobby I guess you could say it was expected. I hope that anyone who had been following along has found some useful info. This next year I will be getting married and shipping another video game this year which will be on the Xbox Kinect and living life but that doesn’t mean I will watch any fewer B-movies
So this has been in the vault for a little while and was not sure when we would watch it. It almost seemed too good to be true!! Zombies + Strippers = Golden Showers…..err wait. It took a little convincing but get the group in on this but there was some fun to be had. Now fun depends on how much drinks are too be had for the night. This was not exactly the movie I was hoping for sadly.
It appears that this was one of the “we can cash in on big names here” type of b-movie and sometimes you have to be careful about those because for those of us who really enjoy the art of the b-flick we are not fooled by those who play with our emotions!! Now with that being said there are some good fun moments here because the effects and dialog are cheap and help sell the set that appears to be lit by two lights. I guess if you are big into Porno or the world of Jenna Jameson you will really enjoy this but since I’m not a fan of Jenna, she is just another actress to me in this flick. Robert Englund is in classic cheese and does make the movie fun but he is not one of the main stars and not in the movie all that much.
It is the tale of classic science gone wrong as our government tries to make zombies, all goes wrong and of course the disease spreads to the near by gentleman’s club. (yes the one near the government science facility) Not sure exactly how zombies work in this movie but these zombies start to turn into zombies but are able to still do their job as strippers first then bring men into their trap which is to eat them…..yeah don’t ask don’t tell type of situation folks. There were some funny moments with the Mexican janitor and some of the strippers including a use of a ping pong ball….yeah…. Overall it wasn’t the a great bad movie because at times they tried too hard when they should have just let them do what they do best in porns…..ad lib great dialog and sucking.
I think if your movie night is mostly guys. I’m not saying this because stripping is demeaning to women, it’s because they focus on Jenna Jameson and her boobs which if that is what you are looking for then just go to the internet which has her around every corner. If you are going to have a good amount of adult beverages then you can use Zombie Strippers and a warm up for a main event movie but I could not consider it a main event flick.
Zombie Strippers gets a 3 out of 5 tuxedo footballs
You know when you say “I’m going to work out at the gym everyday” and you do it for like two weeks in a row but then it fades out and you hardly go again…..well I’ve made a second Podcast for a second weekend in a row. Let’s how long this will go on!!
This time around I discuss an upcoming shitty movie night and my picks and things to think about when you are trying to host a shitty movie night. I’m no expert but neither was Jesus and look where that got him.
It is very rare in a lifetime you will see something so glorious with your eyes. For some it is Halley’s Comet flying across the sky. Maybe it is seeing Walter Payton playing for the Chicago Bears or Jimi Hendrix live at Woodstock. For me I thought it was allowing my eyes and ears gaze upon The Room and I was sure that there would be nothing again in my lifetime to rival that……until today.
Today my friends I’ve some across something that is like for some seeing the trailer of the original Star Wars. What makes a great shitty movie? When you are trying to make something so serious that it is so bad that you just don’t know it. Much like a M. Night Shyamalan movie, this could possibly be the greatest shitty movie of all time.
Boys and girls…I give you
Who Killed Captain Alex….maybe the greatest action movie of all time
Oh well shit here we go. I have had audio equipment that i used with the Hijinks Ensue Podcast and that I use for recording music from time to time that I needed to set up. It took finding some power supplies and such but it is up and running now so what is the first thing I do to test it? The YATMA (You Are Tearing Me Apart) podcast is what I do to test it of course.
This is the first episode and really I just explain what the hell I am doing with this blog and where the name You Are Tearing Me Apart come from.
It is all new and I am not use to doing this on my own so let’s see if it is as good as anything coming out of SyFy right now but leave comments and let me know what you think.
At Texas Frightmare Weekend (April 30-May 2 2010) this year I scored a nice stash of dvds to put into the collection. This is yet another great reason to check out Texas Frightmare Weekend. From zombies to vampires and a little sprinkle of Ninja, you can’t go wrong at the con.
Here is a little preview of waht is coming down the line