2010
02.17

In this review we will be looking at Jennifer’s Body and this review is by special guest Denise from Endangered Adobo

jennifers_body_bluray

I had been looking forward to watching Jennifer’s Body but missed
seeing it in theaters. It looked like one of those guilty pleasure
movies, the ones you don’t openly admit to your friends that you want
to watch. You skulk around and go to the dollar theater by yourself on
a weekday afternoon and hate yourself a little for giving in while you
shove popcorn into your mouth. I am a sucker for horror movies
centered around high school though. Those years are horrifying and
miserable, and become the perfect setting for blood and guts.

The premise of the movie centers around two unlikely best friends,
Needy (Amanda Seyfried) and Jennifer (Megan Fox). Needy is geeky,
sweet and a little helpless while Jennifer is the bossy headstrong
cheerleader type. So everything is going dandy between them (“Sandbox
love never dies”) until Jennifer talks Needy out of date night with
her boyfriend to watch a band at a local teenage-friendly bar. You
catch all that? Adam Brody plays the lead singer of the band, a
douchebaggy, eyeyliner-wearing Rob Thomas type. Well, the bar somehow
catches on fire. Needy and Jennifer escape but Jennifer is whisked
away by the band in what looks to be a rape van. Needy is obviously
freaked out but later that night Jennifer shows up at her house,
bloody and crazy-looking and spewing black vomit all over her kitchen.
Gross. It turns out that the band had sacrificed Jennifer to Satan to
get a record deal, but Jennifer didn’t die. She turns into a demon
herself, a Succubus-type that kills off a few of the high school boys
that want to get into her pants. Needy realizes what has happened but
by then Jennifer has set her sights on killing Needy’s boyfriend. Who,
by the way, inexplicably sports a Beatles haircut.

Fox bloody

amanda seyfried

Good points:
This movie might have been the only perfect role for Megan Fox so far.
She plays the standard-issue hot crazy bitch really convincingly and
it must have been a walk in the park for her to play this character.
It doesn’t seem like much of a stretch (although if she is reading
this, I’m sure Ms. Fox is a lovely young woman). Amanda Seyfried is
also great in this role and proves that she needs to be in more main
roles (and no, I don’t want to see Dear John). I was curious to see
how Diablo Cody would fare in this sophomore attempt but aside from a
bit of forced dialogue, I would say that the chatter wasn’t as
contrived or gimmicky as Juno’s was (a movie which I loved, by the
way, at least the first two times I watched it). There are some real
laugh-out-loud phrases that she coins, a few that made Josh choke on
his cinnamon roll. <<examples>>

Good points:
This movie might have been the only perfect role for Megan Fox so far.
She plays the standard-issue hot crazy bitch really convincingly and
it must have been a walk in the park for her to play this character.
It doesn’t seem like much of a stretch (although if she is reading
this, I’m sure Ms. Fox is a lovely young woman). Amanda Seyfried is
also great in this role and proves that she needs to be in more main
roles (and no, I don’t want to see Dear John). I was curious to see
how Diablo Cody would fare in this sophomore attempt but aside from a
bit of forced dialogue, I would say that the chatter wasn’t as
contrived or gimmicky as Juno’s was (a movie which I loved, by the
way, at least the first two times I watched it). There are some real
laugh-out-loud phrases that she coins, a few that made Josh choke on
his cinnamon roll. <<examples>>

Fox floating

Not-so-good points:
I have to say that although I enjoyed this movie for the most part,
there wasn’t really enough killing in this movie to be a typical
horror flick. Not counting the people that burned in the fire, I think
the body count was 4. As far as monster movies go, that’s pretty
humane. I also wouldn’t say that this is even a scary movie. I don’t
recall being startled once, except for Needy’s truly hideous prom
gown. WTF was that all about?!

Douche singer

Random observations:
When this movie first came out there was an interesting debate on
whether this was exploitative or feminist. They sure capitalized on
Megan Fox’s hawtness (an extra on the DVD is “Megan Fox is Hot,”
basically a spank reel, as Josh so eloquently put it). The slo-mo sexy
walk down the hall, the midriff-baring shirts, boy-short panties and
knee-high socks… yeah, they played all those cards. They beat you over
the head with it. I get it, she’s god’s gift to horny guys, I don’t
need to see her skinny dipping in a lake. But that aside, I thought
that her relationship with Needy was pretty complex and nuanced, at
least on Needy’s end. It is implied that Needy might have a crush on
Jennifer. There’s not a whole lot of indication that it is
reciprocated unless you count their make-out session, which actually
seemed more like a power play on Jennifer’s part. You won’t believe me
when I say this but it did seem like an important scene to show the
dynamic between the two of them. It was only exploitative in that it
was the marketing angle they chose to go with in the previews, but I
thought it fit into the story well. Besides, you need some kind of hot
girl action in any teenage horror flick, right? Alright, enough with
the Women Studies lecture.

Final notes:
This is a good movie to watch on a Saturday night with some friends
who know well enough not to take it too seriously. It’s a teenage
movie, Mean Girls meets Carrie, and you should go in expecting not
much else. For an almost-B-movie it also has really good production
value behind it. 4 out of 5 Tuxedo Footballs.

Fox teeth